Co-Parenting: Perfectly Imperfect with Priscilla Cabrera
Co-Parenting: Perfectly Imperfect with Priscilla Cabrera
Co – parenting is easy. -No One Ever
Now, I can finally say that co-parenting is a lot easier than it was the first year of Maliah’s life. But let me tell you, it was arduous and at times atrocious to say the least!
When I thought about having kids, I pictured myself having a family and a home to call ours but the reality was I become a single mom a few weeks after finding out I was pregnant.
We can save that story for another time.
On my end, from day one I wanted Maliah to have her father in her life. Although it took his ass some time, I can say he is getting there!
Thank God!
Maliah having that relationship with her daddy, is truly all I wanted.
Co-parenting can be so difficult because one parent cares most of the responsibility, usually mommies but I know some single dads out there that are killing the game!
What made co-parenting easier? Note easier but not an easy breeze!
I think time, growth and on my end forgiveness.
I remember at times I would get frustrated with my baby daddy because I was always doing the work 24/7. Like remember it takes two to create a child. That used to feed my resentment towards that man! Like I disliked him with a passion.
I made it my business to let him know how much I truly disliked him too.
He probably thought I was the baby momma from hell.
And even though I don’t think I was the worst; I know my words hurt him.
He has a soft heart. Maliah obviously has to get it from somewhere!
No shade baby daddy if you reading this! It is a good quality to have.
But it was my hurt and resentment that clouded my judgement. Even though I had these feelings towards this man, I never once held that against him when it came to Maliah.
Sure, my smart mouth couldn’t stay quiet.
But once I truly forgave him, it made it so much easier to co-parent.
Maturity played a huge role and learning to choose which battles to even go after was key.
For me, I was so use to doing it on my own that, it was weird talking to him about Maliah.
Apart of that was my pride!
Like I don’t need a man to help me raise my child.
I have done it on my own so why stop now?
My mentality was I do not need man.
I mean let’s keep it real, I truly don’t need a man cause I’m ME. But I can say it’s nice to have one around.
I had to realize that he was putting that effort in so I had to put my effort in too, to allow him to parent Maliah.
Again, because I was so use to doing it on my own, it was a little difficult to do.
I can say I am getting there little by little.
At times he still irritates me! Like I just want to put on a sumo wrestler costume on and knock his ass out!
But then I collect myself and go about my day! Haha
Even though Maliah is soon to be four, we have years to this co-parenting.
Quite frankly the rest of our lives. So why not live in harmony and peace with your baby daddy.
I mean it is so nice, having a weekend to myself. I am not complaining. I have my ME time and Maliah gets to spend QT time with her daddy and her family.
I remember my baby daddy telling me we were family. And me being my old self back then I told him, “I am not your family and never will be. You and Maliah are family. Me and you are nothing.”
Damn! I was harsh. It does seem mean now that I evaluate my words. But when I said it I felt no remorse being that I was filled with resentment. So yes, I can agree that we are family and we will always be even when we have our own families.
So why not do this co-parenting in peace!
So I leave you with some word of advice.
If you are having a rough co-parenting relationship, try your best to forgive one another. Life can be pretty crazy. Feeling sorry for ourselves won’t make us feel better.
Forgiveness truly is key.
It’s like starting on a brand new white canvas. Space for new headaches! Just kidding but truly makes co-parenting so much easier.
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